The definition of co-dependency is an excessive need of a person. Co-dependency is an unhealthy characteristic of a relationship ( I am using the word relationship to refer to all types of relationships). There are warning signs that may signal to you that you are in a co-dependent relationship. The co-dependent relationship doesn’t just happen, but rather it forms over time. Some warning signs that you may be in a co-dependent relationship are:
- You care for the person at the expense of your own well being. Caring for a loved one is not a bad thing and can be done from a place of love. However, this refers to the specific act of denying and keeping your needs unmet for the sake of the other.
- You take responsibility for how the other person feels. Meaning that you need to be the one to keep them happy, calm fulfilled if they are angry, upset, disappointment then you take responsibility.
- It is your responsibility to fix every little problem.
- Accepting mistreatment simply to keep the peace.
- You feel ashamed for wanting independence.
In summary, a co-dependent relationship is not fulfilling to your well-being. It can be abusive and is definitely not one that will allow you to grow and flourish. If you have any questions about co-dependency please reach out to a professional. As always, Psychology Today is a great resource to connect with an expert, many of which offer free consultations. In my next post, I will offer some suggestions to help establish boundaries and how to safely remove yourself from a co-dependent cycle.