I am often asked by people in relationships or not: what do you need to have a healthy relationship? So, if I could give you an “ingredient” list for the makings of a good, fulfilling, and healthy relationship this is it:
1. Have fun together and enjoy your time spent with one another. Quality time is essential (it goes beyond texting, DM’s, and inboxing!). This is where you will get to know each other and foster a sense of togetherness.
2. In spending time together you foster: trust, openness, honesty are the pillars of your relationship.
3. The space to be your own person. Each one of you (prior to couplehood) had interests and friends, and you still need the individuality to honor that.
4. Attraction goes beyond the physical: make sure you like each other (personality, quirks, etc).
5. Arguing and having differences are part of being in a relationship and therefore establishing respect and “rules” for arguments is very important. There are agreed upon behaviors that are acceptable or not acceptable when engaging in an argument and abiding by this agreement will strengthen your relationship despite any problems you might face. (I can expand on this one in a later post!)
To be in a healthy relationship requires intention and commitment from both of you. When you are both fully present in the relationship (each giving and taking); both of you will feel secure in the relationship.