Ideas Para Mantener la Calma

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Hay momentos en los que estamos destinados a perder la calma. ¡Ya sea que estas cansada/o por el  comportamiento de sus hijos, la incompetencia de un compañero de trabajo o simplemente estás  teniendo un día difícil! Es perfectamente normal no tener un temperamento uniforme todo el tiempo. Reconozca sus sentimientos y tome medidas que ayuden a ese estado emocional de una manera saludable. Gritarle a tus hijos o perder la paciencia en el trabajo puede tener graves consecuencias. Quiero ofrecer 5 estrategias que puede utilizar para evitar estallar y sentirse fuera de control:

1. Bajo coacción (emoción intensa) podemos reaccionar exageradamente y colocarnos en una trampa catastrofica mental . Entonces, mantén las cosas en perspectiva con hechos y desafía cualquier trampa mental. Aquí, recuérdate, “es menor, y no vale la pena pelear”.
2. Si es posible tomar un descanso. Aproveche este tiempo para respirar profundamente varias veces y dejar que sus sentimientos se calmen. Luego, en voz baja y tranquila, responda de una manera que mantenga su autoestima.

3. Sé consciente de tus límites y de lo que puede ser demasiado estimulante para ti. Si sabemos cuáles son esos límites podemos recuperarlos y mantener el control. Esto nos permite practicar el afrontamiento cuando se agita una emoción intensa.

4. Dependiendo de la situación, intente crear un ambiente tranquilo. Si es posible, tenga cerca una lista de tareas, una pelota estresante, un chicle, fotos, agua, etc. Al mantenerse un paso adelante, puede prepararse para los momentos de fustracion que pueden ser inevitables.

5. Una categoría en el afrontamiento es distracciones. Las distracciones funcionan muy bien porque son cortas y por el momento. Al distraerte, disminuyes la válvula emocional y puedes disminuir la presión ejercida contigo mismo.

7 Sugerencias Para Combatir La Soledad

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La soledad puede tener un efecto poderoso en nuestro bienestar emocional. Algunas veces, un estado de soledad puede resultado de una mudanza, exigente horarios de trabajo / escuela o falta de apoyo saludable cerca de usted. Lo ideal es que, cuando te sientas solo, que seas participe del mundo. Intenta algo nuevo:  una nueva clase,  un nuevo pasatiempo; el simple hecho de salir te expondrá a otros y se relacionará con personas que pueden tener cosas en común contigo. Si eso no es posible o la idea de hacerlo es abrumadora para usted, entonces puede ser útil tomar las siguientes sugerencias:

1. Relájate con un libro en tu cafetería favorita.

2. Vístete con algo que te haga sentir bien.

3. Acurrucate con tu mascota.

4. Aprende algo nuevo. Khan Academy  ofrece muchos cursos gratuitos !

5. Ir a caminar, o ir al gimnasio.

6. Organiza tu armario o ordena tu habitación.

7. Llévate al museo.

Si los sentimientos de soledad se intensifican y te encuentras luchando, no dudes en contactar a un profesional. Procesar estos sentimientos y elaborar un plan puede resultar en intervenciones poderosas para que se sienta mejor.

My 10 Commandments for an Intentional Life

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Photo by Mark Duffel on Unsplash

I recommend my clients to create a personal set of “rules for living” or their own “dogma for life”. Why? I find that it is important for us to have a standard in living. It allows us to know our limits, how we want to live our life, in the summary live intentionally. If you “break” one of your own rules, rather than being hard on yourself, take the time to reflect if that rule is valuable. Maybe you have outgrown that mentality and it no longer serves you. This is editable! As I have grown in my work in the field of mental health, I created a list of 10 Commandments (so to speak) that have helped me manage the work that I do and the commitment to my clients; as well as apply to my personal life. It is a standard, that I hold myself too and reflect often:

  1. I accept that I’m not perfect, and there’s no perfect time
  2. I can’t please everyone no matter how hard I try
  3. I will participate in something I believe in
  4. I will learn to prioritize and do what matters first
  5. I will be selective when it comes to choosing friends
  6. I will be there for others and will help them if I can
  7. I will choose to focus on the positives in life
  8. I will true to myself
  9. I will live in the present and enjoy the “now”
  10. I will look for the good and be thankful for each day

This is an example for you to think about how you live your life. Is there intention to what you do and how you do it? Intentionality has the potential to be an extremely powerful force in our lives.

Anxiety is Ruining My Life

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Let’s talk about anxiety.  First, let’s define anxiety: the excessive worry and living in a state of fear that interrupts your daily living. Being nervous can refer to feeling unsettled or worried about a particular situation and it passes. Anxious producing stimuli can really be anything and come from anywhere. The point is that it affects your quality of life. So, many people today live in a state of anxiety. Needless to say, anxiety has many dangerous effects on the individual: psychologically and physically. Although it may some people struggle with anxiety for a long period of time, the key is learning to recognize the warning signs of your anxiety, manage the anxiety and find ways to self-soothe. Realistically, it may be a way of life for those who struggle with an anxiety disorder. However, there are practical tools I want to share to that may help ease the anxiety from day to day. As always, these suggestions will not replace a good solid therapy session. It’s extremely healing and beneficial to develop a personalized plan for taking care of yourself.  With that said, here are my tips to help ease anxiety.

1. Connect to your breath. Pay attention to how you breathe and take ake deliberate slow, deep breaths, and feel the tension begin to subside.

2. Take some time to journal and clear the clutter in your head. I recommend carrying a small notebook with you so you can quickly write things down or using your phone’s note app. It can be very cathartic to write out what thoughts are plaguing in your mind.

3. Identify your cognitive mind-trap and being to challenge the trap.  What’s a mind trap? They are faulty ways of thinking that have developed in time and literally traps us into negative thinking patterns. In order to get out of the trap, a person has to cognitively challenge that mind-trap. This is an easy guide to get you started.

4. Establish a self-care practice. I have written about this in the past. But, here is my most recent post.

5. Acknowledge how you are feeling. You don’t have to do anything at that moment.  Simply acknowledging how you feel and sharing in that with someone can work wonders. Take a minute (or 10!) to take control of your feelings and your thoughts. Then assess the situations, and think through different options.

6. Anxiety is exhausting and you may not have the energy to be around those who drain your energy. It’s okay to establish some boundaries. If you are a parent, you may not be able to get away from your children but this is a great time to ask for help and find even an hour of alone time.

7. Therapy works wonders on learning how to best identify your triggers, what actually soothes your anxiety, and create a lifestyle change that incorporates a complete wellness mindset.

In summary, anxiety can be debilitating but there is hope! If you are struggling with anxiety please visit Psychology Today and connect with a therapist. If you live in the state of Pennsylvania and are interested in working with me please feel free to contact me.

3 Ways to Getting a Self-Care Routine

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At this point, many of us know that practicing a daily self-care routine offers many benefits. Some of these benefits include reduced stress, mental clarity, less muscle tension, and improved productivity. As a mother, wife, businesswoman I completely understand the ease in which we can put ourselves last on our list. Here’s the thing: if you are trying to be the best version of yourself it means taking care of you: mind, body, and soul. I find that many people are overcomplicating self-care. If something is too complicated and adds more items to your to-do list, then chances are you are not going to do it! I want to share with you 3 tips to get you started on establishing a simple daily self-care practice that you can: 1) actually commit to and 2) won’t take up too much of your time.

  1. Schedule it! If it’s not in your calendar or on your to-do list, you can easily either forget about or convince yourself you don’t really need to do it. I personally write in my calendar what I plan to do for self-care every day. I am also specific with what I want to do. It’s a commitment that I make to myself. I typically schedule a 10-20 minutes a day for my self-care activity on a particular day.
  2. Find things that you actually like doing! Yoga sounds great but if the idea of yoga doesn’t get you excited and it’s not something you enjoy then again you won’t do it. If reading is more your thing then set time (even 10 minutes) to read a few pages.
  3. Keep it simple! The simpler the better and the more restorative it can be for you. More importantly easier for you to commit to without having to over think it. If you keep it to simple

In summary, self-care is something we deliberately do to look after ourselves. It’s a way in which we care for our mind, body, and spirit. It doesn’t have to be complicated or extensive. It just has to be intentional. Here are some ideas to get you started:

10 simple ways to practice self care (1)

 

3 Reasons Why You Need to Set Goals

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I encourage goal setting. I applaud goal setting. This time of year many people make the decision to create change. I think that is great. Inevitably there are those that may roll their eyes or claim that it is a waste of time. Or that goals can be set any time of the year. To that, I say “of course!” However, if someone wants a fresh start to a new calendar year, why not encourage them. Making the decision to change and improve does not come easily to many. The challenge to be intentional about creating new habits or eradicating others can be monumental for some.  I encourage everyone, at some point, to reflect their current situation, there is always room for improvement, and set out to make some changes. Here is why:

  1. Through goal setting is the only we get things done. At some point in your life, you made a goal of some kind and it came to fruition because you were intentional about making it happens. Otherwise, this wishes that you made would have simply remained a fantasy.
  2.  Through goal setting, we grow. By intentionally setting a goal, you are taking the steps to make progress in an area of your life. Really think about this: a promotion you’ve earned, a big purchase you made, i.e. a house. This would not have happened if you did not set the goal to make it happen and as a result, you progressed and grew through it.
  3. Goals setting provides us with variety. As humans, we need a change otherwise we function by default mode: mundane. Default mode can very easily lead to making the same mistakes, stifle our growth, and can lead us to what can be described as a rut. The setting of goals can provide us with a catalyst for change, which can be exciting.

These are just 3 of the many reasons I find goal setting to be very powerful. Although some may not agree with me, it is okay. If you find yourself “stuck” I encourage you to set one small goal that will get you excited and focused on creating variety and growth.

Está Bien Pedir Ayuda

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Muchas personas se cohiben a usar servicios de salud mental debido a su “estigma” de tener un problema “emocional”. La sociedad tiene una tendencia a ver los problemas mentales de forma diferente de los médicos. Cuando alguien se rompe una pierna, tiene dolores en el pecho o necesita una receta, verán a un médico. Sin embargo, cuando experimentan depresión, exceso de miedos o un problema con el alcohol, pueden avergonzarse en buscar ayuda.

 

Muchas personas consideran que las condiciones emocionales son “debilidades” que  ellos deben manejar solos. Desafortunadamente, este punto de vista evita que la persona obtenga ayuda profesional que pueda aliviar sus problemas. Reconocer un problema emocional y recibir ayuda no es en absoluto una debilidad. Además, estas acciones positivas son características de individuos fuertes. Además, participar en el Programa de asistencia al empleado (EAP) de su empresa o ver a un terapista en una práctica de salud mental es confidencial. No se realizará ninguna información sin el permiso y la autorización suya. La exepcion es  en situaciones relacionadas con la abuso de niños o adultos mayores o por intento de suicidio u homicidio.