Remember Who You Are

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When you have begun the process of counseling you will change. It’s inevitable. This is a sign of growth.  The woman you are becoming will cost you people, relationships, spaces, and material things. Choose her over everything. So, remember :

1. My self worth does not depend on what others think and say about me.

2. My self worth does not depend on how I look or what I weigh.

3. My self worth does not depend on my marks or performance.

4. My self worth does not depend on my number of followers.

5. I am enough just as I am.

6. I can succeed despite a bad day.

7. I am beautiful and valuable – and will treat myself with kindness and respect.

 

Photo by Artem Kovalev on Unsplash

Why You Should Still Go to Therapy Even If You’re “Fine”

hello-i-m-nik-z1d-LP8sjuI-unsplash Simply stated: therapy is a space for your humanness.  You have a non-judgmental relationship with someone who will hold anything-absolutely anything-that burdens you. Therapy allows for exploration into the idiosyncrasiesof your life. I aim to create a space place for all my clients, where void of any labels, they are come as they are: enough and worthy.  A word of caution, therapy isn’t an easy process. It’ll challenge your beliefs. This challenge, however, can lead to a myriad of emotions (fear, sadness, joy, hope). In the end you may find yourself in a place of transformation. How powerful is that?!  From the moment you choose to self-explore you’ll be pushed past your “I’m fine” narrative and unearth a different story. You owe it to yourself to be more than “fine”.  In the end it’s your choice to continue with being “fine” or finally experience more.  So, I ask you: How are you doing?

Photo by Hello I’m Nik 🇬🇧 on Unsplash

Singlehood Doesn’t Mean There Is Something Wrong With You

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It’s a human need the desire for companionship. It’s healthy and totally acceptable if you want to be in a relationship. Sometimes though risking your well-being to simply be in a relationship can be detrimental to your mental health. In my experience, I have seen varied reasons why people are single when they don’t want to be. I encourage you to find a deeper understanding of yourself and how you got to this place in your life. Maybe you keep dating the same type of person. Or find yourself with someone who is unable and unwilling to meet your needs. Having an understanding of your emotions, thoughts,  and behaviors can help you feel hopeful about the future and your potential relationships.  I want to highlight some of the reasons you may single when you don’t want to be:

1. You may feel like you don’t deserve to be in a (good and healthy) relationship.

2. You may have developed unrealistic expectations about who your ideal mate.

3. Maybe you simply feel pressured to be in a relationship and you will align yourself with the first person who is readily available.

4. You’ve been hurt badly in the past.

5. You are sabotage your relationships.

6. Trauma.

If you desire a healthy relationship. One that nurtures you and feeds your emotional mental and psychological well-being it’s imperative to understand yourself independent of a relationship. Sometimes it is necessary to heal individually so that you can be the healthiest person you can possibly be to your partner. It can be very helpful to heal and learn unhealthy patterns of thinking and behaving that ultimately will allow you to really connect in a very profound way.

Photo by Alex Blăjan on Unsplash

8 Tips To Simplify Your Life

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Photo by Eutah Mizushima on Unsplash

Let’t talk about stress. Stress can be welcomed, i.e. the birth of a child and it can be un-welcomed, i.e financial worry. In any case, learning how to manage and care for your stress is an important and crucial skill to develop in order to care for you mental health wellbeing. So let me offer you 8 tips to manage your obligations and stress.

1. Simplify – your time, your stuff, your social life. Thinking decluttering your schedule and your agenda.

2. Live in the moment. Meaning simply do one thing at a time. So, if you are watching a show focus on watching and enjoying your show!

3. Practice gratitude. Gratitude can be such a great antidote for many things!

4. Take control of the thoughts that pull you back into the past.

5. Do not worry about what comes next, simply take actions that are aligned with your goals.

6. Difficult but necessary: practice getting comfortable with saying “no”. “No” is such a powerful statement.

7. Lived aligned with your truth and your values; do not worry about others, and what they think of you.

8. Do your best, then relax, and avoid perfectionism. Narratives of perfection can be challenged and you can learn how to relax in a therapeutic environment. Give it a try.

Granted some of these suggestions require some therapy to overcome. Yet, do you think you are work the investment? Taking the time to really unearth some unhealthy thinking patterns can arm you to finally be free from the pressures that surround you.

7 Tips To Improving Your Self-Confidence

 

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Confidence is a highly desired quality. Those that possess confidence are often admired and elevated to the status as a role model. Confidence is available to us all. However, there are situations, people, and events that rob us of our confidence. Confidence is something to be nurtured. Once it is nurtured, watch it grow! So, how do you authentically cultivate confidence? I want to offer 7 actionable tips that you can implement to increase your confidence.

First and foremost, commit yourself to cultivating confidence. This is a goal you have set for yourself and it matters to you.  Now try to be as specific as you can and identify the areas in which you lack self-confidence. Introspection and self-insight are key to understanding the root cause of poor self-confidence. For example, do you stutter? And as a result, shy away from talking to people. Once you have an insight (and it does not have to be deep, just enough to get a direction) you can assemble your team to support you! Taking the stuttering example, you can work with a speech therapist to alleviate some of the speech problems.

Next, try to identify any triggers that cause you to feel undervalued. This is where you can develop a deeper insight into your understanding of yourself. This is a great time to work with a therapist to unearth the deeper roots that are contributing to your lack of self-confidence. Everyone starts at different places, and all have different weaknesses. Change is possible for you – though it may take work and time. While gaining self-awareness it is not enough to know what your weaknesses or areas of growth are but it is also important to know and list all your strengths and your positive traits. Do not be ashamed to ask for help here! Talk to a trusted friend and ask them! Start by taking baby steps in your action plan to nurture the traits that you would like to possess.

Finally, along the way notice your successes, and be proud of how you’re changing. Then use this as the foundation to develop further changes.